Becoming a Gift by Grace

Many today define Christmas by the giving of gifts. Children (and adults!) make lists. Santa and his gift-filled sleigh occupy our imaginations. Families hustle to find just the right gift for everyone.
This great desire to give gifts can leave many people feeling anxious during the Christmas season. Studies show that financial strain, time pressure, family expectations, loneliness, and isolation make Christmas, for some, one of the most stressful and depressing times of the year.
But we can avoid this.

When we gather at Mass on Christmas, we celebrate the most incredible, hope-filled, life-affirming gift ever given to the world in the person of Jesus Christ. Christmas really has little to do with toys or trinkets, but focuses instead on the profound mystery that God “gave” or “gifted” His most precious Son, Jesus Christ, to the world for the salvation of sinners. Remember that the gifts we give are simply a reflection of this greatest of all gifts. St. Paul writes that God’s grace has overflowed to us in the gift of Jesus as He would bring the hope and promise of forgiveness of sins and deliverance from death for all people. (Rom 5) Jesus came to be the gift for everyone, even for those who were going to reject Him and eventually kill Him.

The rejection of Jesus revealed the misunderstanding and disappointment of the people with God’s chosen gift for redemption. Jesus was a sign of division as He said He would be, despite His profound teachings on the Kingdom or His powerful miracles that demonstrated His power over sin and death and Satan. In their rejection of God’s gift in Jesus, they were like many of us as children who might have been disappointed or unimpressed with the gifts we found under the tree on Christmas morning. Still, Jesus Christ came for all of us to give us salvation. Just as Jesus Christ humbled Himself through the gift of the Incarnation so that He could give His life for the world, we are called to humble ourselves so that we can be gifts, instruments of God’s grace in the lives of others.

Jesus provides a model and image for us to live as gifts for others. Even as we move into this Christmas season marked by challenging economic times, this should not prevent us from being a gift to the people that God has placed in our lives. Consider how He continues to give Himself to us personally and sacramentally in the life of the Church. We are each called to follow His example.

This Christmas, I am encouraged to consider how Catholic families are a gift to the world. St. John Paul II, in his 1981 apostolic exhortation, Familiaris Consortio, urged, “Families, become what you are … spouses are therefore the permanent reminder to the Church of what happened on the Cross; they are for another and for the children witnesses to the salvation in which the sacrament makes them sharers.”

Before they are parents, they are spouses and are called by God to be a gift to each other. This is the goal of marriage. The more that spouses set for themselves the goal to be a gift for their spouse, to give themselves away for their spouse, then the happier they will be. If this giving is not dependent on the reaction of their spouse, just as Christ giving Himself was not dependent on public reception, then it will become truly sacrificial, following the model of Christ. The marital relationship will not be a competition marked by scorekeeping or a list of successes and failures, but rather be characterized by humility and selfless service. When spouses develop attitudes of being a gift for the other, regardless of response, then the entire family and the world will benefit.

The marriage, of course, is the primordial gift for their children. The marital relationship and maintenance of it should even take primacy over care of children. This does not mean that the children are ignored or overlooked, but emphasizes the truth that when spouses remain healthy in their relationship, then the children will be better cared for because the spouses will remain deeply united and will become a better gift for the children, making the entire family a gift to the world.

There are many practical ways for families to live together as the domestic church to foster holiness and become gifts to the world. The Catholic faith is rich with devotional practices, and it is important for children to grow up with such devotions. I would recommend that parents take the time to read Living Beyond Sunday: Making Your Home a Holy Place by Adam and Haylee Minihan and David and Pamela Niles. These young couples from our diocese offer guidance and insight on fostering the domestic church in the home.

I would encourage each family to develop a vibrant prayer life, especially the rosary. Commit to faithful attendance at Mass and receive the gift of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist together as a family. Go to Confession regularly. Be committed to passing on the Catholic faith to your children. Schedule a family reading night. Finally, do not take yourselves too seriously. We are, after all, human, and we will make mistakes. We can laugh at ourselves and move ahead with full confidence in God’s never-ending love for us in Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas and may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ richly bless you and your families during this wondrous season.
 

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